Who I am to you

Every day I step inside the character designed
To hide the face that laughs and cries at the same time
Hypocrisy of emotional dichotomy
The calculated guise you see
Who is he?
What am I?
Who is this me suppose to be
I can derail the precepts of what he said
Or decide  it's worth the hurt to herd the words from his head
Your help brings me no closer
To escaping indulgence of the self loner

It's not depression it's denying body clock intention
It's a head spin to know
That the story disclosed
Sewn in your clothes
Is part fuck monkey
And thrown stones for attention
The reflection detects the direction of pheromones expecting
They smell your desperation Desperado
Wouldn't have to try hard though if Banderas, Antonio

Discussing retreats from the crushing defeat
Deciding to plant my feet
Can't live by escaping the heat
I just need beats and a line to rhyme
Not lying I still find you in the back of my mind
Most of the time
I need to let go
The horn of forlorn has been blown
The death throes have spoken

- Ryan Dickinson